UPDATE ON MYRTLE BEACH! 

The view above is the view from our hotel room. It was nice and had a living room with a balcony and chairs to sit on in the morning and watch the sunrise with your coffee. Easy quick short walk to the beach and then your toes were in the sand and all your worries washed away with the waves. There's something so healing about warm sand, sunshine, and the sound of the ocean. I feel that same kind of healing when I am on a lake in Minnesota, or a really nice sunny winter day, or a nice fall walk. 

The procedure went really well on Monday. We showed up, and I was taken back for vitals and to be numbed up. The doctor makes an incision an then inserts the probe, and liquid nitrogen runs through the probe to freeze the tumor. The tumor was 8cm in diameter, and she essentially quartered it up and did 4 sections where she would freeze it for ten minutes, thaw it for ten minutes, and then freeze it for another ten minutes. So the whole procedure took from 9am-2pm all said and done, with a break for lunch. She did three out of four sections and then we broke for lunch where they cater it in for you, and Hannah and Amber got to eat with me, and meet the doctor and talk questions. We went back to the procedure room for the last round of freeze/thaw/freeze. I thought I was going to be able to power it out mentally, but my mental game was shot. I was struggling. I was really pulling deep in my mental strength capacity to not just say, "pull it out this sucks I'm over it". It was painful, and the frustration of even having to go through this was really getting to me. There were certain people I thought of in my head, where if I could reach out to them I could just hear them cheering me on, and telling me, we train and do hard things so that you can do these things. Also during this time I was meditating/praying, and it was really peaceful, believe me if you want, or don't, doesn't bother me- but I was visited by my dad, and other loved ones during this time. There are lyrics to a song by an artist Lauren Daigle, "I will send out an army to find you, in the middle of the darkest night, it's true, I will rescue you". I absolutely feel like that army of loved ones was sent while I was praying, in the middle of a very dark time, to be rescued, and held, through that time. 

After the procedure I was sat up, and wrapped up in an ace bandage. At that time, I became very light headed and had some pretty severe pain in my arm from the pectoral muscle. At this point I had to lay back down, and I remember trying to say, "don't call an ambulance just go get Hannah" but I couldn't get the words out before I was breathless and almost fainting. I did some deep breathing and got better, and the severe muscle cramping in my pectoral muscle subsided. My sister, Amber, and I went to Target after to get a few things, including ice cream of course. :) We went back to the hotel, rested, and then got ready for dinner. We went out to a recommended Seafood restaurant and had the best dinner of the entire trip. The food was delicious and our server was so much fun. For dessert our server brought out this Creme Brûlée and had a pink ribbon drawn on in pink frosting in the bottom right corner it was so special. 

They say that one is able to "return to normal life" after this procedure. I would say....false. At least for me. Due to the size of the tumor I had (8cm) verse some women who have 1-2cm tumors. I had severe frost bite/blisters, and to the day, almost 14 days since the procedure, each day is different in it's own healing way- but I am nowhere near 100%. I have a difficult time reaching my left arm up over my head, and there is no quick movement coming from my left arm/shoulder due to being cautious of the wound being pulled/tugged/bothered. I have significant amounts of burn cream on the wound, and will be switching today to a wound care product called MediHoney- that is a form of honey that is a natural antibacterial specifically for raw, open wounds. I still have to wear a trauma dressing (like gauze) and change it morning and night due to the wounds weeping, and also to protect it from being touched. I have to wear a zip up sports bra as well, which I am thankful exist because it would be very hard to take a regular one on and off all day. I can shower, it's not painful, but it is scary sometimes because the wound changes every day and the shower makes all the dead skin from the blisters icky. The whole process is really quite ICKY honestly- even from a paramedic's standpoint. But, worth it to have a dead tumor. I am currently on what we call "light duty" at work, and I am not working in the ambulance, I just show up and hang out at work every day, since I have lifting restrictions and an open wound that we want to keep clean and infection free. 

When I returned to work, I was told that the NFL and HCMC who have a partnership for the Crucial Catch Campaign, for early detection of cancer, saw my interview on KARE 11, and wanted to have the pink ambulance out in front of the hospital for their event. I was tasked with driving it over there, and was instructed to go in and say hi to a couple people, and that was about it. 

I ended up meeting Viktor the Viking, and he was taking selfies with a bunch of people so figured I should get one as well. One of the women from the PR team at Hennepin asked me to come and sit in a specific chair for the presentation, instead of standing in the back with one of my coworkers. She said it was a special area reserved for people with cancer during the presentation. What was really cool, and I loved hearing people's stories and their connection to cancer- but this woman from the PR team said she actually has breast cancer as well, (stage 1). We talked for awhile, and then my coworker who came over to the hospital with me from our ambulance garage, said his mom actually knew about this event going on at the hospital today, and that she is a 6 year breast cancer survivor so this event meant a lot to him as well to be attending. Pretty soon the conference room started to fill up with doctors and staff from the hospital. My oncologist was actually in the room as well and came and said hi. The presentation started and a surgeon spoke, a breast cancer survivor (stage 1), and then another woman spoke who is a physician assistant at HCMC who was just diagnosed with breast cancer 19 days prior to this event. After those three women spoke, a Minnesota Vikings player named Alexander Mattison got up and spoke. He shared about why he partners with the American Cancer Society and the Crucial Catch Campaign with the NFL, and his connection to cancer with his dad being diagnosed with Leukemia when he was 13, he is now 25- and his dad is cancer free and alive and well. He was getting towards the end of his speech and said that he wanted to honor a paramedic, who is currently battling breast cancer, and said Ali would you join me up here? I was SHOCKED. I think I said something along the lines of- "what? Up there? why?" He motioned for me to come up, I set down my coffee cup and walked up there, and he said that I am in his prayers, and that my journey is inspirational, and that he wanted to give me 2 tickets to the next MN Vikings home game. I was completely shocked. You can see my genuine reaction in the photos below. 

This is my reaction when he told me he was giving me 2 tickets, and I remember thinking- why me? I have worked Minnesota Vikings games for the last 6 years as an employee for HCMC, but never attended a game not working. I thought- there's tons of people deserving of these tickets- why me? I was in total shock, thanked him and gave him a hug, and went and sat back down. After the presentation, I was interviewed by KSTP and was able to have another one on one conversation with Alexander, and I asked about his dad's story with cancer, and he asked about mine. It was really special to share a connection with a total stranger but I think that's what my life revolves around every day. The interviewer from KSTP asked "what was it like, that was a pretty intimate conversation with Alexander" and I remember I replied something like "he's human- he puts his pants on the same way I do everyday, it's just special and an honor to get to hear his story, along with getting to share mine". I did joke with him that he needed to have a good game against the Packers, and that they already put too much stress on us the night before in the Monday Night Football game, and that we can't have two weeks of that- especially with it being against the Packers. He had replied "Oh I'm well aware...I'll try my best!"

This was a really special gift that I was on the receiving end of, such a special surprise. 

At the end of December I will have a pet scan, and around mid January I will have a needle biopsy to check and make sure the tumor stayed dead. It should take about 2-3 years for my body to fully eliminate and clean up this dead tissue. For now I will continue immunotherapy treatments, along with other therapies I have been doing this entire journey.  Our hopes, prayers, and goal of this surgery is to kill off the main tumor, weakening the other sites of cancer as well, so my body can focus on killing the rest of the cancer cells, in combination with immunotherapy benefits. For now it's a waiting game- well- a healing game. Healing a major trauma wound and healing cancer. Nothing is quick and I am finding this has become a season of being forced to slow down, and become ok with rest. Still working on that part. :)